Thursday, August 5, 2010
where did they all go?
I feel like I have lost complete touch with the outside world, the world that does not have D. We used to have a strong group of friends. We used to go out together often and have lots of fun. Now I only know some of what they are doing because of Facebook, not because they are reaching out to us anymore. And why should they try? We can't really go out anymore. At least not easily. Finding someone who can take care of three boys AND be willing and capable of taking care of Bryce's diabetes is not easy. Then when we DO go out, we spend the time checking in on Bryce or wondering what his numbers are doing. It is almost not worth it. When they ask us how we are doing, our glazed eyes can really only come up with insulin to carb ratios and the last days worth of bg numbers. They have no interest in how many carbs various foods have or how bgs are affected by activity and stress. Maybe they fein interest in what we are dealing with. But they really don't know. They don't know the amount of energy that goes into caring for a child with D. They don't know that we don't sleep at night because of fear that he will go low and die in his sleep. They don't know that we analyze his blood sugar numbers constantly, trying to find a pattern so we can make insulin adjustments so he won't go from 400 to 50. They don't know how D has affected not just our son with D, but his brothers as well. But really, they don't know how bad I NEED them. I don't ask them to join our JDRF Walk team just to fund research. I ask because I want to know they still care. Care about us as friends and the hardships we are dealt. That they are by our side in this battle. So where did they all go? Who knows??