dreams of vacations

My husband and I dream of taking vacations to beautiful places. Places we can relax and have fun. Last spring, we brought our oldest boys with us on our trip to Cabo, Mexico. Not because we wanted to have a great family vacation (which we did!) but because it would not be a relaxing vacation for us if we left our son with someone else to care for his diabetes. Not only do we not have that someone willing and able (my in-laws are close but still a little anxious about handling it all solo) But we would spend the time wondering how his blood sugars were doing and if all was going smoothly. We wouldn't be able to relax and what is the point of a vacation if you can't relax?

Today, after the boys got us really frustrated, we talked about taking that next vacation with just the two of us. We rarely get time together and when we do, we have so much fun. But alas, those carefree days are gone. This is the life we are relegated to.

crying wolf

My love affair with Dex is not a smooth one. He talks too much and doesn't always tell the truth. I think he just wants attention. And last night, he wanted it while we were trying to sleep...of course! Problem is, you can't just ignore him. What if this time he really means it? Multiple alarms said Bryce was low (we have him set to go off anytime Bryce goes under 90) but upon fingerpoke, he was in the 120s. We did turn down his basal to be sure and we calibrated Dex too. We even had Dex try to get our attention by alarming with a double arrow up, saying Bryce went up to 149 when he was still only 100 (this was in between all the low alarms). I think Dex was trying every trick in the book...and it was working. He cried 'Wolf', and we came running. But by 3am, we decided we were not going to fall for his tricks anymore. Luckily, we didn't have to make that decision. He stayed quiet (and Bryce woke up at 270!! wtf?) Think we are getting less sleep with Dex than we were before. However, because he has caught a couple real lows in the middle of the night that we never would have expected, we will keep him around.

old glucagon

Just looked today and found out our glucagon expired in January! Who knew? Good thing we haven't needed it. One of our CDEs said that he has only had a handful of kids ever need to use it, and they were teenagers who had been drinking. Since I found that out, I haven't been so uptight about keeping it on me (or him) at all times. Guess I was too lax about it that I let the ones we have expire. Will refill it today however....just in case.

**glucagon is an emergency shot that is needed if a diabetic goes so low they become unconscious and are unable to ingest fast acting sugars. it is a hormone that releases sugars from the liver. one should always be within close proximity (much like an epi-pen for someone with servere allergies)

where did they all go?

I feel like I have lost complete touch with the outside world, the world that does not have D. We used to have a strong group of friends. We used to go out together often and have lots of fun. Now I only know some of what they are doing because of Facebook, not because they are reaching out to us anymore. And why should they try? We can't really go out anymore. At least not easily. Finding someone who can take care of three boys AND be willing and capable of taking care of Bryce's diabetes is not easy. Then when we DO go out, we spend the time checking in on Bryce or wondering what his numbers are doing. It is almost not worth it. When they ask us how we are doing, our glazed eyes can really only come up with insulin to carb ratios and the last days worth of bg numbers. They have no interest in how many carbs various foods have or how bgs are affected by activity and stress. Maybe they fein interest in what we are dealing with. But they really don't know. They don't know the amount of energy that goes into caring for a child with D. They don't know that we don't sleep at night because of fear that he will go low and die in his sleep. They don't know that we analyze his blood sugar numbers constantly, trying to find a pattern so we can make insulin adjustments so he won't go from 400 to 50. They don't know how D has affected not just our son with D, but his brothers as well. But really, they don't know how bad I NEED them. I don't ask them to join our JDRF Walk team just to fund research. I ask because I want to know they still care. Care about us as friends and the hardships we are dealt. That they are by our side in this battle. So where did they all go? Who knows??

Bryce's Team: Wipeout Diabetes

The JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes will be October 3rd, 2010 at Oaks Park.

Please join us! It is a ton of FUN!!

There is lots of entertainment, free breakfast (last year IHOP provided big fluffy pancakes) and lunch (Fred Meyer provided hot dogs, etc) and everyone gets a FREE RIDE BRACELET to Oaks Park.

to join our team or make a donation go to my fundraising page :

http://walk.jdrf.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=extranet.personalpage&confirmID=87689384

camping with D

Just got back from a great camping trip (though the weather could have been a lot warmer!)

Hiked to and under North Falls at the Silver Falls State Park. Beautiful.

Not so beautiful were Bryce's numbers.

This time we had Dex with us (not that he is a great traveling companion since he beeps all the time and doesn't always tell the truth)

Even with Dex around, we stopped and tested on the trail.

Despite the hike and the many correction boluses, Bryce's bg was high...holding steady at 350 no matter what we did.

Changed his insulin when we got back to camp.

Turns out that did the trick....battled lows the rest of the night.

ugh!!!

As always, test strips everywhere!!

s'more

graham cracker: 12g

marshmallow: 6g

chocolate: 4g

Mommy cringing when he asks for some more s'mores (but just bolusing him to the moon instead) that is what camping is all about right?