***warning-rambling unhappy post***
This time of year has always been stressful for me. Not that I am a bah-humbug but the chaos of everyday life is amplified a hundred times during the holidays. When the house is a mess, the last thing I want up is a ton of decorations. I never like shopping then add crowds of people and the stress of having to buy for other people and it is just unbearable. And the weather sucks! At a time when everyone is singing carols and happy as can be, I am in a funk. I feel like my life is spinning out of control and I can't get a handle on anything. Everything I do is subpar. Not one thing can I be proud of, not one thing I do well. Everything and everyone suffers. My house is a mess, my kids are obnoxious, I never know what to make for dinner, I can't fit in my clothes, we've had more pay cuts, my 2 year old keeps pooping in his pants (and thinks its funny), I never get any sleep, and Bryce's numbers eternally suck. Despite all this, I do have a lot to be happy for...I am just not seeing it right now. I am overwhelmed and tired.
sorry, just had to get it out....now to put that aside and take care of the boys and do something fun today!!