***warning-rambling unhappy post***
This time of year has always been stressful for me. Not that I am a bah-humbug but the chaos of everyday life is amplified a hundred times during the holidays. When the house is a mess, the last thing I want up is a ton of decorations. I never like shopping then add crowds of people and the stress of having to buy for other people and it is just unbearable. And the weather sucks! At a time when everyone is singing carols and happy as can be, I am in a funk. I feel like my life is spinning out of control and I can't get a handle on anything. Everything I do is subpar. Not one thing can I be proud of, not one thing I do well. Everything and everyone suffers. My house is a mess, my kids are obnoxious, I never know what to make for dinner, I can't fit in my clothes, we've had more pay cuts, my 2 year old keeps pooping in his pants (and thinks its funny), I never get any sleep, and Bryce's numbers eternally suck. Despite all this, I do have a lot to be happy for...I am just not seeing it right now. I am overwhelmed and tired.
sorry, just had to get it out....now to put that aside and take care of the boys and do something fun today!!
Don't apologize... I am right there with you. I can pretty much echo almost every thing you've said in this post (except replace the 2 year old pooping thing with a 3 month old who refuses to sleep).
ReplyDeleteIt sucks, and it's better you get it out than let it simmer inside. Hope you had fun, whatever you did!
Love you and this is a great place to get it out. I too, feel overwhelmed during this time of year...the music starts to get under my skin, the shopping is too much, I fucked-up my Christmas cards (they look like pregnancy announcements...and NO I am not pregnant)...my flood light stopped working after the kids ran over it with their tobbagon...etc...etc...
ReplyDeleteLove you...chin up girl...chin up.
Oh Denise...I could have written this post word for word. Except the poopy underpants, but you know what I mean. :) I just spent the evening with a friend, crying about my life and how out of control I feel. ((hugs))
ReplyDelete